Crisis Adverted
by Sanguied
Summary: S/W everyone S/W/G mostly, Humor Giles, according to Buffy, has never had a mid-life crisis.


Slightly AU but short enough to go without explanations.

Another oldie from the files, written god 9 years ago, ugh. Enjoy.

Crisis Adverted

"Giles never had a mid-life crisis." Buffy said with conviction and Giles, just passing by, stopped at the group's circle.

Cordelia, Buffy, Xander, and Angel, and only Angel looked slightly embarrassed to be caught discussing Giles' private life. Giles cursed coming all the way from cold and wet England for Christmas.

Not only did Buffy not look sorry, she continued even going so far as to question him. "Did you, Giles?"

Giles pretended to be ignorant of the conversation and asked her patiently what they were talking about. He was trying to give her a chance to see the error of her ways, but always his Buffy.

She ignored the disbelieving faces of her friends and just explained. "We were talking about mid-life crises and I was telling them how you never had one." She smiled at him, seemly proud of this claim as if she herself had something to do with it.

Giles looked around the group. They seemed to be slightly embarrassed but listening. He rolled his eyes. It was just sad that this was what the conversations turned to after the talk of demons and apocalypses.

He looked Buffy over and saw a capable woman and not the girl he'd taken under his wing so many years ago. He decided it was time she saw him as having a life and not just as her watcher and 'old' friend. If she was old enough to speculate about his life then she was old enough to hear the answers. So with that thought in mind he set her up. With a careful, blank face, he said. "Yes, Buffy I did have, as you called it, a mid-life crisis."

Buffy opened her mouth and shut it. She looked around to the others and then turned back to him. "But you didn't get your ear pierced, or buy a sporty car, or any of that other stuff that Cordelia said her agent was doing."

Giles grinned into his drink, only to lift his head with a mask of friendliness and curiosity. "Really Cordelia, has he been out of sorts then?" He looked towards her.

Cordelia nodded and gestured freely with her drink holding hand. "Oh yeah. He's turned into a total dog, going after every girl half his age."

Giles nodded with sympathy and even reached out to pat her hand as he pulled away, he briefly considered just dropping the topic. It was getting rather late and they'd all had perhaps a little too much to drink.

Then Buffy spoke.

"That's not our Giles, he just wouldn't do that. No way would he run around sleeping with people without a relationship just because they were young and hot." Grinning with satisfaction on her thoughts and knowledge of _her_ watcher, she took a deep drink out of her cup.

"Actually," Giles paused to look around the room and smiled, perfect. "I did," he lifted his cup in a toast across the room. Buffy choked on her drink and everyone looked to where his cup had indicated and back to him with shock. He added, "twice. Multiple times."

Wesley looked to Spike. "Should we be wondering what they're talking about? Perhaps we should go over there?"

Spike studied Giles' grin and Buffy's red face. "Don't think so pet. I think the slayers about to blow a fuse."

Wesley took a closer look at the girl. "Oh dear, it does seem that way. What have we done to her?"

Spike grinned and took a swallow off his bottle before looking sideways at Wesley. "I don't think it's anything we did to her, rather," he smirked, "what we did to her watcher."

Wesley's eyes widened. "We haven't," Spike licked his lips and Wesley coughed, "well we didn't do anything he didn't ask for."

Spike grinned. "Damn right. No one can take all that begging and pleading for to long. Bloke could've gotten himself killed walking around all regressed like that."

Wesley smiled. "Quite, one would think she'd thank us for watching after his welfare."

Spike titled his head and still grinning said. "And if she comes over here that's our argument."

Buffy sputtered until Xander patted her back. She jerked away from his touch and turned towards Giles, with the audacity to look betrayed. "How could you," she glared across the room, "with them?" She hissed.

Giles' smile disappeared. "Buffy, I love you. You're the daughter I never had but you invited yourself into my sex life I certainly did not invite you."

Buffy paled and looked into her drink, at once sorry and put in her place. "I'm sorry, Giles. I didn't have any right." She looked up and gave him a small 'forgive me' smile, complete with 'don't be mad' eyes.

He smiled his forgiveness and back in the good, she sparkled and grinned. "But still, why them?" Her voice was curious instead of angry. 

Cordelia huffed. Wesley and Spike had been staying with them in LA and while they could be, okay they were annoying, they were still hers. "What's wrong with them? Sure they're annoying, but they're," she turned to glance at Wesley and Spike, who seemed to be talking about her desk.

Giles grinned. "Young or in Spike's case, young looking."

"They're gorgeous." Xander offered. Not noticing Cordelia and Buffy's eyes swing to look at him, as he was too busy looking across the room.

"And they're hell cats in the sack."

Giles and Xander's eyes glazed over. "Yeah."

Buffy and Cordelia's eyes bulged and not sure which man to settle their eyes on, Buffy's went to the last speaker and gasped. "Angel?"

Angel looked at her guilty and shrugged.

Cordelia turned on Xander. "You're straight, how do you know?"

Xander blushed, shifted in his seat and stared at his drink. "Um, I was just, you know, curious and it was after Anya left me for Iowa. It only happened once," his brow creased, "um, maybe twice," he scratched his head and lifted his cup speaking into the rim. "Or maybe every time I come to town."

Cordelia pulled herself to sit on the arm of the couch and reached out to cuff the back of Xander's head.

Gunn and Lorne joined the group. Gunn pulled on his light coat. "Hey, I'm about to jet. I've got to roll by the neighborhood." He paused to look around the group. "What's going on?"

Cordelia rolled her eyes and pointed out Giles, Angel, and Xander with her drunken fingers slightly pointing to the left. "How these three have been doing the terrible twosome," she gestured towards Spike and Wesley with a wave of her hand.

Gunn grinned and wavered on his feet. "Oh yeah," he smirked, "don't they know some freaky junk? I swear they taught me shit I didn't even think was possible."

Cordelia fell off the arm of the couch. Buffy blinked and Gunn nodded. "I'm out, later."

"You're telling me." Cordelia breathed. "I couldn't even tell you were in."

Xander, Angel, Giles and Lorne, all called out their goodbyes with large grins and waves.

Buffy blinked and looked into her drink. "What's in this stuff?"

Cordelia pulled herself up, using Xander's arm. "I don't know but I need more." She pinned Lorne with her eyes. "You haven't?"

Lorne tilted his head and smiled widely. "I haven't, what? Known the pleasure that is Wesley and Spike," he sighed. "If it answers your very personal question, I offered to re-do my house for them, but they wanted to stay in that god-awful apartment of theirs."

Angel frowned. "Hey, I offered them a hotel room, redone any way they wanted it."

Xander groaned. "Hell, I offered to make them a house."

Giles hid his grin and fashioned his face in what he hoped was anger. "Well I offered to move them home to England, for god sakes." He carefully shifted his mood to innocence. "You haven't been giving Spike any money have you? I've been paying his half of the rent since last year."

Lorne, Angel and Xander looked at each other and said at the same time. "But I was paying his rent." They glanced around at each other and continued at almost the same time. "You have?"

Giles slipped away from the group as Angel, Lorne, and Xander start sharing how much they'd been giving Spike with Cordelia trying to drunkenly add it up.

Giles, still smiling, put his drink on the nearest surface and walked nonchalantly towards the other side of the room.

It did indeed look like Wesley and Spike were talking about Cordelia's desk. However Cordelia was too drunk to find the right amount of concern about their interest.

Spike looked critically at the desk. "So do you think she's noticed it tilts a little to the right?"

Wesley shook his head. "Doubtful, she rarely sits at it."

Spike smirked. "We sure had fun making it tilt though, didn't we?"

Wesley smiled and took the hand Spike had raised towards him. "Always."

Neither turned as Giles approached, but Spike said. "So how mad are they going to be with us tomorrow?"

"Us?" Wesley asked. "It wasn't me bleeding them dry."

Spike pulled Wesley closer and nuzzled his neck. "But who was it that said we should complain about the rent raise?"

Wesley shrugged.

Giles moved in closer not yet touching but within their sights. "I'm sure when they awake tomorrow they'll laugh it off and neither one of you will lose a coin over it. However, right now it seems," he smiled his eyes glazing, "that you've lost any other plans you've both had tonight."

Spike grinned. "It seems to me that we did tell you that other people had asked us to spend the night before we knew you were coming, didn't we?"

Giles nodded.

Wesley smiled. "And you cleared our schedule, how thoughtful," he winked, "and how very Ripper of you."

Spike smirked. "Mid-life crisis my ass, you can still wind them up and let them fall with the best."

Giles tipped his head in acknowledgement, dug in his pocket and pulled out a card. "Room 304 the suite at the Season's."

Spike whistled. "We should've hit you up for more dosh."

Giles rolled his eyes with fondness and looked to the other side of the room to see Lorne, Angel, and Xander all trying to pull themselves together. "You might want to go ahead."

Wesley took the card. "Yes, we'll go warm the bed for you."

Wesley started to pull Spike away with their interlinked hands. Spike turned back and slowly looked him up and down. "Don't take too long Watcher cause we'll be warming each other up as well as the bed."

Giles nodded. "I'll be along quite soon." He paused long enough to tell Willow that he was going to his hotel and not to call him. He'd call them, tomorrow, sometime, in the afternoon, at the earliest.

Willow smiled still surprisingly mostly sober. "I'll tell them." He nodded and turned away. She grabbed his sleeve, he turned back and she grinned. "Practice safe sex."

He stuttered. "I hardly think,"

She raised a hand, cutting him off. "I meant the gymnastics. They put Xander's back out last time." She laughed and Giles shook his head and quickly left. Perhaps, she wasn't as sober as she seemed.

The End


End file.
